The Silver Linings Playbook Chapter 32

Letter 3-November 18, two hundred6Dear Nikki,As soon as I file your letter, I had my mother memorise off The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from the Collingswood Public Library. Eager to enjoy a literary obligate with a quick wipeouting, I read the entire work in one sitting, which required me to forgo sleep for an evening. I dont grapple if Tiffany read you the parts in my diary about my black friend Danny, tho this book would make him go wild, as bitstock uses the n-word more than 200 times. I k flat this because after reading the first few chapters, I started over and kept a running t all toldy. Every time Twain used the n-word, I make a mark on a piece of paper, and when I finished the book, there were more than 200 label Danny says that lonesome(prenominal) black people can use the n-word, which is sort of a universal truth nowadays, so I am surprised the give instruction board allows you to teach such a book. further I did wish the book very much. Even though To m Sawyer should stimulate told Jim he was free right a way, I was so happy for Jim at the end of the novel when he gained his freedom. Also, the way that Huck and Jim stuck together by dint of icky times reminded me of Danny and Pat getting each others backs in the spoiled place. What really struck me was how Huck kept struggling with the idea that graven image did not want him to help Jim run away, because Jim was a slave. I net people had different values back accordingly, and that the church and government sanction of slavery, scarcely Huck really impressed me when he say if serving free Jim call upt going to hell, he would go to hell.When I read your letter, I cried for a long time. I know I was a bad husband, and I am not mad at you for cheating on me or leaving me or even remarrying. You deserve to be happy. And if you atomic number 18 married now, your getting back together with me would be a sin, because it would mean that we would be committing adultery, even t hough I still think of you as my wife. These thoughts make me feel dizzy, as if I am spinning out of control. These thoughts make me want to bang my fist against the little white oppose above my right eyebrow, which itches every time I get bemused or agitated. To use your metaphor since I can remember, I devote been driving on a dark highway, passing endless dashes and lines. Everything else has totally been a pit stop family, Eagles, dancing, my workouts. I befuddle been driving toward you the substantial time, only desiring one thing our reunion. And now I finally clear Im trying to woo a married wo composition, which I know is a sin. But I dont think you understand how hard I worked for this happy ending. I am very fit, and am now practicing being smorgasbord rather than right. I am not the man you were married to for all those lonely years. I am a better man. A man who volition take you dancing and will give up sports altogether coaching and Eagles if that makes y ou happy. My conscience tells me that I should not continue to pursue these feelings, but your telling me to read Twains novel made me think that maybe you were handsome me a sign. Huck thought he shouldnt help Jim escape, but he followed his heart, he freed Jim, and that is what led to the happy ending. So maybe you be telling me in an indirect way that I should follow my heart? why else would you specifically recommend The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to me?Also, our time together wasnt all bad. Maybe the end was grim, but remember the beginning? Remember college? Remember when we drove to mammy in the middle of the night? It was the Friday after midterms and we were watching one of those expire shows on PBS, because we both thought we would travel back then. All our friends had bygone to the rugby house for a party, but we stayed in together for a night of pizza and wine on the couch of my town house. We were watching that show about whale watching off the coast of Martha s Vineyard, and you asked me if they made wine in Marthas Vineyard. I said the New England growing gruntle would be too short to get the proper types of grapes, but you insisted that there must be a vineyard there if the island was called Marthas Vineyard. We had this really heat fake argument laughing and hitting each other with pillows and then suddenly we were in my old Taurus, driving north.Im sure you didnt think I was really going to drive you all the way to Massachusetts without a pitch of clothes or toiletries, but soon we were over the Tappan ezed Bridge, and you were smiling, and I was holding your hand. We never made it to Marthas Vineyard, but we spent a pretty wild weekend in an economy motel just immaterial of Cape Cod. Do you remember walking on the beach in March? Our lovemaking smelling like decades worth other peoples rump smoke as we enjoyed each other over and over in that motel room? Remember how when we jumped on the mattress, smoke seemed to leak out the sides? The lobster dinner we splurged for at that cheesy restaurant called Captain Bobs, where the waiters wore eye patches?We always said we were going to return to Massachusetts, take the ferry, and see if Marthas Vineyard actually had vineyards. why didnt we do this then? Probably because we had class on Monday morning. But I wish we had taken that ferry when we had the chance. What was the worst thing that could have happened? We would have missed class. It seems so silly now to drive all the way to Cape Cod with the intention of taking the ferry to Marthas Vineyard only to spend the weekend in an economy motel on the mainland.What Im trying to say is that maybe we can still take the ferry, Nikki. Maybe its not too late.I know this is all so complicated right now. But there must be a reason that we are in contact again. There must be a reason that I lost my memory and then was filled with a vicious rent to im set up myself. There must be a reason if Tiffany was adequate t o(p) to arrange this letter exchange. All Im asking is that you keep the possibility of a reunion open as we continue to communicate through our liaison.My therapist Cliff says he feels as though I am equanimous for a breakthrough, and he feels he has stabilized my violent tendencies with medications. I know that in my writings I mentioned spitting out many of my meds when I first came home, but I am taking all my pills now and can feel my mental health stabilizing. Every day I feel as though I am getting hand-to-hand to regaining my memory of our demise. And no matter what I remember no matter what really happened between us it will not change how I feel about you. You are living with another man, you are remarried what could be worse? I still love you. I will always love you and am only now ready to prove my love for you.I hope this note was concise enough, as I tried very hard to keep it under five pages and was successful. I miss you so much, Nikki. Every freckle on your be autiful nose.Love,Pat, Your sexual Stud Muffin(Remember that from the wedding video?)